🐾 Paws Before Pride: Supporting Your Dog Through Breakups and Divorce

Breakups and divorce are hard. There’s no sugarcoating that. When a relationship ends, it can feel like the ground has shifted beneath your feet—and in the midst of all the emotions and logistics, it’s easy to forget that our dogs are feeling the shift, too.

But here’s the beautiful part: dogs are incredibly resilient. With your care, your patience, and your love, they can get through it—and so can you.

This post is here to support you. Whether you’re facing a breakup, living through one, or just trying to plan ahead, let’s talk about how to keep your dog’s world safe, stable, and full of love during a time of change.

🐶 Your Dog Didn't Choose the Breakup—But They’re Along for the Ride

Dogs don’t understand words like “separation” or “custody”—but they do understand routine, presence, energy, and love. When a relationship ends, the dog may not know why one person is suddenly missing, why the home is changing, or why you’re sad. What they do know is: something’s different.

And different can be scary for them—especially if they suddenly lose a person they love.

That’s why it’s so important to center their experience as we move forward.

🧡 What’s Truly in Your Dog’s Best Interest?

Every situation is unique, but there are some common questions you can gently ask to guide decisions in the best interest of your pup:

1. Where Will They Feel Safest?
   Stability and familiarity matter. If one person is staying in the home where the dog already feels comfortable, that may be the less stressful option—at least in the short term.

2. Who Has More Time and Emotional Energy?
   Dogs thrive with consistency. Who can commit to daily walks, snuggles, feeding, enrichment, and training right now?

3. Can You Co-Parent?
   If both of you want to stay involved and it’s emotionally safe to do so, co-parenting (or shared guardianship) can be an amazing way to keep your dog connected to both humans they love.

4. What Does Your Dog Need Most Right Now?
   Some dogs are sensitive and will need extra comfort. Others adjust more easily. Try to notice signs of stress (clinginess, pacing, accidents, etc.), and support them with reassurance, routine, and kindness.

🤝 Creating a Community of Care

You don’t have to do this alone—and your dog doesn’t either. Just like we lean on friends, therapists, and family during a breakup, our dogs can benefit from a small village of loving people too.

Here’s what that might look like:

• A trusted friend or pet sitter your dog already loves, who can step in during transitions.

• A positive reinforcement trainer to help with new behaviors (like separation anxiety or reactivity).

• A vet or behaviorist, especially if your dog is showing signs of serious distress.

• Family or neighbors who can keep familiar routines going if you need a break.

Building a “care circle” not only helps your dog adjust—it reminds you that you’re supported, too.

🐾 Shared Guardianship: Putting Ego Aside, Putting the Dog First

Let’s be real: breakups can bring up big feelings—hurt, anger, resentment. But when we zoom out and focus on the dog, sometimes a softer, more flexible path becomes clear.

Ask yourself:

• Can we come up with a visitation or co-parenting schedule that works?

• Are we open to trial periods or rotating care to see what’s best?

• Can we communicate respectfully when it’s about the dog’s needs?

If the answer is yes, you’re already doing something incredibly loving. Shared guardianship isn’t always easy, but when it works, it allows your dog to hold onto the relationships that matter most to them.

💛 You’re Already Doing So Much Right

The fact that you’re reading this? That you’re even thinking about your dog’s feelings during a hard time? That’s love. That’s commitment. That’s being a really, really good pet parent.

There’s no perfect answer to what comes next. But if you lead with compassion—for yourself, for your ex, and especially for your dog—you’re going to get through this. And your dog will, too.

🐕 A Few Tips for a Smoother Transition:

• Keep routines as consistent as possible: Same walk time, same meals, same bedtime rituals.

• Bring familiar items if the dog is changing homes: Favorite bed, toys, or a t-shirt that smells like “home.”

• Talk to your dog. Seriously. They may not understand the words, but they do understand your tone and presence.

• Practice short separations: If they’ll be with one person more, start easing into that change before it becomes permanent.

• Be patient. Behavior changes are a form of communication, not defiance.

🫶 Let Love Lead the Way

At the end of the day, the goal isn’t just to “keep” the dog—it’s to make sure they continue to thrive. That takes empathy, flexibility, and sometimes some brave, grown-up conversations.

But you can do this. Your dog is lucky to have you—and whether their world stays the same or changes completely, the most important thing is that they still feel safe, seen, and loved.

And remember: just like your dog, you are resilient, too.

Need extra support? If you're going through a breakup and need help navigating this with your dog, don’t hesitate to reach out to me, other local positive reinforcement trainers, behavior consultants, or even online communities of pet parents who’ve walked this path. You are not alone.

You and your dog? You’ve got this. 💛 I’ve created a Dog Custody Discussion Guide designed to help you both communicate clearly, reduce stress, and co-create a plan that prioritizes your dog’s emotional and physical well-being. Find the link on the home page!

The Canine Connection: How Dogs Unleash the Magic Inside Us!

Have you ever paid close attention to that moment when your dog first notices the sights, smells, and sandy shores of the beach? If you have, I’m sure you’ve delighted in the unbridled enthusiasm and joie de vivre that oozes from every butt wiggle and helicopter tail. Before I unclip the leash, I ask for a wait, or a moment of calm from my Poodinois (Standard Poodle and Belgian Malinois mix), Belly. Amid this upper echelon of challenging environments, I will even settle for brief eye contact before I release her. Let’s be realistic, this is not the moment to train that behavior, the shaping of a “wait” cue has been developed in much less distracting and lower arousal settings throughout our lives together. Once you get over the fact that you are not the most interesting thing to your dog right now, you can truly indulge in the eruption of joy that soon manifests into sand-gremlin-zoomies and exaggerated play bows. A dog’s ability to relish in the present moment and fully experience the vigor of nature’s gifts is inspiring. And if we’re paying close enough attention, we are lucky enough to catch a spark of their lust for life.

In today’s modernized and fast-paced world, it’s easy to get lost in the grind of superfluous appointments, congested commutes, and endless background noise. For me and many of my clients, making time for our dogs amongst all the life responsibilities can prove incredibly challenging. What if I told you that even as an active dog guardian and professional, I too, experience the guilt of feeling like I’m not doing enough to meet my dog’s needs? The good news is, it doesn’t mean that our human needs must take a back seat. Miraculously, our dog’s needs happen to be aligned with what we truly require. I’m convinced that the magic of a mindful presence and a do-less attitude is what’s missing from our daily routine. Being able to tap into our bodies and child-like souls strengthens our bond with our canine companions and our essential selves. That’s why my mission is to empower guardians to create every opportunity to slow down and connect with the natural world. I am certain that you, your dog, and your community will thank you for it.

When we operate from this grounded space, authenticity and curiosity can thrive. My dogs have been some of my greatest teachers in this life’s education. They’ve taught me to stay in the present and honor the journey in all its painful and sublime growth. They’ve taught me to be courageous in times of turmoil. But most importantly, they’ve taught me to practice radical acceptance and self-love. I can never repay the gifts dogs have bestowed upon me, but I can surely try to share them with the beautifully complex humans in my orbit. I have faith that the ripple effect of this application of positive reinforcement is vast and regenerative. In these tumultuous times, we need to build each other up more than ever. It starts here and now, with daily choices to connect and create, feel the sun, share a powerful story, listen to the water flow, volunteer your time, dance for freedom, and see and be seen by your dog. When we establish a sense of personal and communal safety, our hearts remain open, and we can acknowledge our interconnectedness to all living beings. On a grander scale, we magnify our ability to show up for ourselves and others.

It is my hope and the Fluff Scouts mission to empower guardians and their dogs to forge a deep, authentic connection, where understanding flows freely and compassion leads the way. By creating a safe, nurturing space, we ignite curiosity and open the doors to learning, allowing both humans and dogs to grow, heal, and thrive together in harmony. Dogs are such a beautiful reminder that our fictitious boxes and the barriers we create to preserve an illusion of safety are futile and divisive. Now more than ever, community is an act of resistance, tenderness is an act of resistance, seeking education and being a savvy consumer of information is an act of resistance, and embracing positive reinforcement in dog training and our daily lives is an act of resistance. You and the love you must share are an act of resistance. I believe in you and your dog and the profound impact we all can have in the short time we get on this spinning rock. I look forward to connecting and learning with you on this beautiful journey!